Doris Day enjoyed the spotlight for decades; her talents made her loved by many, and she lived until old age. The actress and singer, who died in 2019 at 97, never wanted a funeral, memorial, or grave marking. She only had one heir left, her grandson Ryan Melcher, with whom she had an estranged relationship.
Doris Day was an impressive actress, often leaving her audience marveling at her skills. Shortly after her onscreen debut, she captivated the attention of many, and it lasted for many years.
Her enchanting TV personality was not the only way she landed on the list of one of Hollywood’s celebrities. She also possessed a melodious voice and showcased her creativity through the lyrics and rhythm of her tunes.
The star triumphed for several decades in the spotlight. However, Doris was not known for only her talents. While many acts emerged following the industry’s evolution, she maintained relevance by participating in philanthropic engagements.
She lived a full life, which ended in 2019. Despite being a 97-year-old, who many would have expected to have made her peace with death, she never found the concept of death interesting.
This influenced her final wishes of not having a burial, memorial, and grave markings. She died in Carmel Valley, Monterey County, was cremated, and had her ashes scattered.
Doris Day’s Marriages to Four Different Men
While Doris was incredibly skilled at giving people and animals a better life, she actively sought a happy life, including a fairy tale romance. Sadly, the actress did not find her fairy tale ending.
The “Pillow Talk” alum was romantically involved with a few men, and she walked down the aisle with four of them. Her journey in the romance world began as a teenager after meeting a 23-year-old trombonist named Al Jorden.
The young lovers proceeded to exchange vows, but their promises to be together forever failed after Al cheated. This left Doris devastated, but it was nothing compared to his jealousy that caused him to beat her and threaten her life.
This went on for some time; even when she became pregnant, Al kept the beating coming. At this point, his wife realized that her life and their unborn child’s life were valuable enough to preserve.
She left him, and in no time, the young beauty fell in love with a musician, George Weidler. The duo married in 1946 and relocated to California. Within a year of their marriage, George became intimidated by the rising star’s fame, which threatened their marriage.
Despite her two failed marriages, Doris kept her head up, worked towards establishing a successful career, and continued to search for true love. Within a few years after her second divorce, she met Marty Melcher.
Their relationship appeared perfect— the synchronization of two hearts, both successful in their fields, one an actress and one a producer. On the surface, the media thought intimidation had no chance of destabilizing these two.
Marty seemed like a supportive spouse who took Doris’s baggage without complaining. He cared for her son and even helped her career by turning her into a megastar with films like “Love Me or Leave Me” and “Pillow Talk.”
However, this was not the case; he was great at putting up a facade, but intimately, Marty was a manipulative husband who was violent with her son whom he adopted, Terry. The young man was later shipped off to boarding school without his mother’s consent.
The Marriage That Broke Her
Doris’s marriage to Marty was the union that broke her and nearly wrecked her career. The pair were together for almost two decades, and it was not until his untimely death in 1968 that she realized how toxic their relationship had been.
The producer had made some important financial decisions without her consent. Following his sudden death, Doris discovered that she was in debt because her husband had mismanaged her funds. She owed a tax fee of $500,000, but her coffers were empty.
Her husband lied about some investments in Rosenthal, duping both mother and son. After years of investigation, the judge estimated that she was owed $90,000.
He also signed an unchangeable contract for her to feature in a TV series without her consent; all these left her in a depressed state. Thankfully, Terry stepped in, saving his mother from the financial crisis by helping her reorder her finances.
Doris Day’s Relationship with Her Grandson
Doris’s only son, Terry, died in 2004 from melanoma. But before then, he had established himself as a singer, learning the ropes from his talented mother. Terry also had a son, Ryan, who loved Doris even after her death.
At some point, Ryan did not have a close relationship with his grandmother due to a divorce that happened when he was a child. However, she later invited him to dinner when his dad died. Sadly, he was not allowed to see the superstar after Bob Bashara, her longtime friend and manager, banned him.
Unfortunately, he never got to see her again and even learned of her passing via a social media announcement and took to Facebook to share his last memories of Doris and his loving dad, citing that they were once close.
Her Last Days
Before her passing, Doris lived a very intimate life, surrounded by different people who cared for her. However, not many friends or family were allowed close to her.
According to her bodyguard, she was confined to her home and did not have the right people caring for her. The only thing Doris wanted to do was spend time with her dogs and read emails sent in by her fans.
Although Ryan never got to have that dinner with his grandmother, he still cherished the childhood memories of him and his grandmother. He said he loved visiting her home and appreciated how she instilled a “drive and confidence” in him and his father.
Ryan credited Doris for the music career that his father had. He was also in awe of the career that his grandmother built, as well as the philanthropic work she took part in.
Doris’s only heir has had to navigate life without his closest family. In addition to losing his grandmother, Ryan also lost both his parents. But each year, he shares a tribute for them. On the first anniversary of his mother’s death, Ryan revealed that he and his mother did not have the best relationship.
But the life lessons that come with the ups and downs taught him that life was more than money and power. He soon realized everything his mother did was for him, and it became clear that she loved him unconditionally.
Now, Ryan has a successful career as a real estate agent. He also has a booming personal life and was lucky to find someone to spend the rest of his life with. The real-estate agent married his longtime girlfriend, Brittney Giammanco.
When he shared their engagement photos, he said he was grateful to have someone willing to go to “war” for him and with him. This is because before, his wife, only his mother had his back.
Doris Day’s Wishes after Death
According to Bob, Doris made her wishes before her passing. She never liked the idea of death, found it difficult to accept it, and was opposed to the ceremonial practices that followed.
Doris never wanted a burial, memorial, or grave marker and did not like to talk about what would happen to her dogs when she died. Her manager said she had avoided the subject and told him to care for them.
However, in her will, she made provisions for the animals. She also relinquished her estate to charity and asked that her Doris Day Animal Foundation, which she had founded in 1978, continue its operations.
